Archive for April 2009

Lemuel Mwangi: What a Government?

I am not entirely surprised that the Kenyan government, even after the worst woes of murders in the hands of the Mungiki, remains adamant to this malignant tumor that is hastily growing in central Kenya. When words of condemnation came from the top floor of the Treasury and Finance building, I did not in the least expect more, for the same word are repeated as soon as some Kenyans are dead. “Condemning violence in the strongest terms possible” has formed a stanza in the political songs of a forgotten nation, the verbal aspect of the PM remaining only, and always, a verbal myth. The house on the hill is worst placed, having not even had the immediate reaction or sentence of re-assurance to residents who lost loved ones even though a senior most Kenyan is from a few tenths of miles away.

Murders have now become an obsession in the minds of Kenyans, a mythical rhetoric that sits under the tables of an ignorant government. How right would I be to think that anarchy is slowly inhibiting the future of our nation? While the security docket is as worse as being non-existent, the justice one is on the quits for the search of greener pastures. How greedy? Other do not take the chance for granted and want some new elections for them to elected even though they are currently sleeping on their jobs. What make us think that they will not get an extra blanket on electing them back? All these are happening in the high office while poor citizens are almost dehydrated after bucketfuls of tears.

You might wonder what is the most popular characteristic in Kenyan politicians. Well, all have binocular eyes in as long as there is an election coming in a century. Don’t you hear them announce in public that they will run for presidency in the year 2100? Let me remind them that in hell-or heaven for the lucky few- the top seat is forever booked. If politics is a dirty game, so are the players. Even after conferencing an overloaded cabinet, they still can’t figure out who or what ‘Mungiki’ is. No condemnation has ever brought back a life.

Let’s think of this. Two activists are shot dead in a public road; not even a lone policeman to prevent the murder. What is more traumatizing is that the government can afford to send a whole battalion of officers to guard a funeral. What a bad show?

I have a dream, that one day, Kenyans will have a president who will govern with humane intellect, a government that will stand for the people, minister who will not sell public grains, minister who will not sell public property, politicians who will play clean politics, and MPs who will not remain vague images in the minds of the electorate.

Let Kenyans know that ‘wars begin at will but do not end at pleasure’. Right now, the administration is just too compromising –or comprised- with the Mungiki terror gang, I only have to wonder how many of the senior administrators have taken the dreadful oath to sit and watch while Kenyans are being slaughtered. If we let the mountain of terror grow, it might be impossible to move it.

By lemuel Mwangi

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The Kenya Political Life Cycle of a Tick

As a young boy, Saturday was Cattle Dip day. It was the day we woke up very early to take our Zebu-like cows to the communally constructed and managed cattle dip. The dogs provided extra security and rearing of the cows and would also be forced to take a bath in the cattledip.

The cattledip trip was to eradicate the ticks that bugged our milk-producing, blood-giving and meat-issuing mammals. It was a very essential weekly exercise as failure to do so would mean that the cows would be malnourished, hides damaged and worse still this Athropoda was a carrier of notorious cow diseases that would lead to huge losses to us.

Ticks are external parasites that live on the blood of the ir host, in this case it was our much depended-on cows.

Over a period of days, they would get engorged with blood to almost bursting from taking too much blood. The idea is to overfeed since they do not know when the next host will be available. A small scratch on the tick will give a gush of blood. After a while they drop from the host after getting full to mate and fill the earth by laying eggs. They then stealthily stalk a potential host in preparation for another blood fest.

These are merciless parasites that can suck a cow's blood to death, thus the importance of a weekly cattledip bath. Their favourite spots are around the neck of the cow and other fleshy areas. I guess they fight each other for these spots. Others are so notorious, they go for the lining of the eyes and inside the ears. They are shameless, unforgiving and a death squad to other living creatures.

They have no interest in survival of the host or whether the hosts eats or not, whether the host is sick and needs attention, whether the host needs greener pastures, whether the hosts needs any changes or reforms to better its lives or whether the cake the host eats is preserved or should be baked larger for all.

Their sole selfish interest is to suck and suck and suck until not even air comes out. They then drop and look for a fattened tick to mate and have a coalition with as they murderously lie in wait for another host to plug their filthy needlelike sharp mouths to spread the tribal agenda.

In case the ticks find that their host is no longer giving quality blood or is dead from their blood sucking adventures, they just drop off, go through a round of more mating and coalition building as they hide in the security of the long grass, living on their enlarged, engorged bellies waiting for the host to revive or for a new host.

In short these are the operating rules of a tick:

  • Suck, suck, suck and more sucking
  • Blood, blood, blood and more blood as long as it is not our blood
  • We dont care, we dont care and we dont care anymore what happens to the host
  • Mate, mate, mate and more mating within our species
  • Our siblings must also suck, suck, suck and more sucking
  • We lie in wait, waiting for the next victim of our blood sucking lifestyles
  • Suck, suck, suck and more sucking

It is therefore foolhardy for any cow to assume, think, imagine or believe that a tick can liberate it from hunger, thirst, disease or malnourishment.

It is foolhardy for any cow to assume, think, imagine or believe that any tick will only suck as little blood as possible so that the cow can live longer. Nay, ticks suck as much blood as possible at times to the detriment of their bellies.

It is foolhardy for any cow to assume, think, imagine or believe that any tick will lead it to greener pastures, give it pastureland reforms and the change of environment it direly needs.

It is madness for any cow to trust its life or that of its siblings to any tick. Death and fast death is the ultimate in such an arrangement.

It is suicidal to be led by a host of ticks.

Interestingly, we led the cows and the ticks to the cattledip with the assurance that only the cows will survive the bath. I don't know now, I only hope that our inept government has not incited communities to create cattledips where only the ticks survive or where the cows get out with broken limbs, bruised, poisoned by tick-prescribed insectcides, suffocated or drowned.

Other than the weekly cattledip bath, the other solution was a natural one. As we grazed the cows, there was a certain kind of bird that followed the herd, some kind of tick-pecker, perching on the cows backs and on the neck pecking out the ticks one by one.

Is there such a bird or flights of such birds in Kenya and will they show themselves up in good time to save the cows from these ticks?

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Register Mungiki as a Political Party or a Self-help Group aka Chama

The recent murderous events by villagers and Mungiki members in Kirinyaga and Karatina is a sign of how far the political, governance and security structure has deteriorated in Kenya.

Why do we have a police force that is inept, corrupt, lazy, impotent and infiltrated by thugs and murderous gangs? Or a military that freezes at the rumour of a Ugandan brigadier in a tiny one hectare island of Migingo.

Is there no security intelligence in Kenya such that the ordinary mwananchi has more intelligence than the Criminal Investigation Department and other security organs of the state?

Why on earth do we have a commander in chief, security, defense minister and subservient forces whose work is to issue statements at the confines of their strongrooms, who only tour to marvel at Kenyans blood soaking into the soil and whose work is to buy coffins and hire tractors to bury their kinsmen enmasse?

Something is goddamn wrong with Kenya.

Imagine Kenya without a president, prime minister, cabinet and the other lot of crooks in parliament; nothing will significantly change in this country. Kenya will still be annexed by Uganda on the west, Somalia on the East and North Eastern. Our oceanic waters will still be ruled by teenage pirates from Mogadishu who scare the hell out of our much taunted experienced navy. Vigilante groups and murderous gangs will still continue to hunt down each other and display torsoless heads as trophies.

Back to the Mungiki story, the government of Kenya should have registered this group as a political party. At least legally there would have been a code of conduct and legal recourse for their heinic and barbaric acts. There would have been a register of members and officials who can be tracked in case we need some explaining from them.

Political aspirants and presidential projects in Central Kenya would not have a problem having night meetings and proxy transfers of cash to these gangs in preparation for 2012 and would be at liberty to vie for civic, parliamentary and presidential seats in the name of Mungiki. We would know some of these as the wolves they are, rather than foxes in goatskins, preaching peace during the day and beheading their kinsmen at night. For Kenya has an insatiable thirst for human blood.

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Martha Karua Resigns from Kibaki Government

Martha Karua Resigns from Kibaki Government

In a live interview with KTN 9 0'clock prime time news, Martha Karua gave the clearest signal that she is on her way out of Kibaki's confusion government.

She stated that she will give her decision to the public tomorrow, Monday 6th April 2009, a year after furiously defending Kibaki's contentious 2007 election win. From her grand standing in the interview, it is highly expected and guaranteed that she will announce her resignation as the Minister for Justice, National Cohesion and Constitutional Affairs tomorrow.

She equated her ministrial duties to giving somebody the mandate to dig a farm, giving him/her a jembe/hoe but tying his/her hands behind the back. She reiterated that she need not have a ministerial position to bring reforms to Kenya. She stated that there are anti-reform forces in the office of the president and in the government. She expressed her frustrations with these forces as she sought to bring judicial reforms with the height of the arrogance being the latest appointment of judges by Kibaki without consultation with stakeholders.

She confirmed that she was not party to the Kilanguni circus where there was a standoff between Raila and Kibaki forces over resolving the issues that has stalled the grand coalition. Her name was floated in the coalition management team but she did not take it up.

Martha Karua was an insider to Kibaki's dealing with the 2007 post election saga and if she gets out of the government and decides to "spill the beans" then the coalition government will have a blow of its lifetime.

Unfortunately for her 2012 presidential bid, she will no longer have the convenient platform of the justice ministry and can easily fade into oblivion. She denied any alliances with other parties as had been rumoured that she is now pro-Raila. Within an year her shining morning star in Kenyan politics is growing dimmer and the forces who have fought her for her 2012 presidential declaration will have carried the day by the time she announces her resignation from the grand confusion.

On the other hand, Raila has gone full throttle on an anti-Kibaki crusade as Kenya enters the worst part of its history. Things are bound to get thick and bloody once again.

All this should put Kibaki and his ilk on the notice and as the swahili says, dalili ya mvua ni mawingu. The writing is on the wall and only the wise will act wise.

Only Majimbo can resolve the current stalemate Kenya is in and avert more bloodshed and other ills of tribally divisive politics.