09 February, 2009

How to make Kshs 85m ($1.1m) in a day

Drive into Kenya's National Cereals and Produce Board (NCPB), the government body in charge of maize/grain storage.

Order 100,000 bags of maize at a cost of Kshs 1,750. Make a call to a maize miller and offer to sell 100,000 bags of maize at the price of Kshs 2,600. Advise the miller to make two cheques, preferably bank transfers. First, a cheque/transfer of Kshs 85,000,000 to you and another Kshs 175,000,000 to NCPB. Do not waste energy pondering how come the government through the NCPB bought the maize at more than Kshs 2,600 per bag.

Give instructions to NCPB managers to release to the miller the 100,000 bags of maize you have just ordered and bought.

Drive out of NCPB and enjoy your hard earned sweat money.

For the plan to work effectively, ensure there is a call from the Ministry of Agriculture to the NCPB managers prior to your arrival or arrive armed with a hand written note on the Ministry of Agriculture's letter head.

Why are you poor, oh ye Kenyans of little ideas.

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